Anecdotes-6

Asantha U. Attanayake

Labour Pains and I

I was born on the Independence Day of my country, Sri Lanka. My mother was admitted to the hospital 2 days before. I am the first born so my mother was new to everything related to motherhood. Obviously. She had visited my grandmother during her pregnancy. (No, not the one who visited Nagadeepa- a temple in northern peninsula- 17 times. That was my paternal grandmother. This was my maternal grandmother who lived in Karalliyadde. A historic city, some 15 miles away from us. When we said, “We visited our grandma” that meant my maternal grandma as we could not “visit” my paternal grandma who lived with us in the same house we were brought up.) So, going back to the story, my maternal grandma apparently had told my mother that labour pains were the most difficult to bear hence, not to complain just as she started getting them but to be patient and bear them.

My mother, having fully absorbed this advice, was determined not to give in to pending labour pains.

Then the pains started to come. She was taken to the labour room. Now it was becoming increasingly difficult to bear the pains but then again, remembering the advice, she told herself not to go hyper as they just began to come. The worst was yet to come. After all, the pains that were coming, though very difficult, were manageable. Of course, the pains that were supposed to come as she was about to deliver the baby were going to be simply excruciating and therefore unbearable. So, she waited, shutting her eyes and gritting her teeth and was all ready for the worst.

Alas! In the next spur of moment, here I was! Out and out!

And my mother did not know!

You see, I was all quiet for years with matters pertaining to marriage. And then one fine day, out of the blue, here I was, introducing a man as my bridegroom I was going to marry the next day.

That too not a Sri Lankan but a hefty American!

Dear reader, I hope you understand the phenomenon here; it wasn’t my fault at all to surprise my family with random actions like these every now and then. That was something I have been carrying with me even before I came into this world.

Well, while celebrating another happy birthday with immense freedom, here in the Land of the Free;

Just thought I should pen this down for you guys.

For that de la alborada Parvathi Neruda raped
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Neruda! Neruda!
Shame on you!
Parvathi, Parvathi, nameless Parvathi!
You stole my sleep for many a night!
Walking like a ghost
Evening after evening
Standing by my bedroom door not daring to enter in
The coolie daughter of Southern Indian coolie Subramaniam
The black beauty of Sri Lanka
The beautiful great-grandmother of coolie Mahalingam
Just as they said you were
Deep dark eyes, expectant, breath slow and low
Waiting.
Why did you pick me woman?
Why?
In the name of Buddha, Krishna! Jesus!
I am not for revenge
I am from Metta tradition
Practicing forgiveness even for the heated hated
And even my husband is not for revenge
But from forgive your enemies for they know not culture
Alas, why? Why did you pick me?
Suddenly one evening, you decided to come to me
Through that telephone call my friend made
I saw you through in the back yard every alborada
Walking like a ghost
Quietly in; quietly out
Cleaning his toilet
Day after day.
Neruda, Neruda!
Shame on you man!

Shame on you!
You damn writer, you damn poet
Universally acclaimed
Nobel Laurette
Tried to lure her with garments in vain
She stood by my bedroom door last night
Nor did she stare; nor did she even look at me like in the other night
There she stood, with her dark big fathomless eyes cast down
Like a ghost
But I saw her swelling belly
That carried the trauma
For generations to come!
To unload the burden unto me
Neruda! Neruda!
Shame on you!
Chilean Ambassador
Dragged this Parvathi into your bed
Raped her and raped her and raped her
She just laid there
With her dark big eyes wide open
Beyond hurt
I cannot breathe, I cannot rest
I want revenge, I want justice
To hell with my Metta culture!
To hell with forgive them for they know not!
Neruda is venerated, why?
He is immortal, why?
He has museums in his name, why?
Wikipedia talks about him, but who cares?
Google dedicated volumes for him
To that bastard!
Where is the line for you my dark friend?
Who sang praises of your beauty?
Who lamented for you?
You just laid there, a nameless Sri Lankan beauty
With a blank expression, to him, to them; so he said, so they say.
Decades apart
Here I stand
With you my girl
Without you
In solidarity!
-6 March 2022

Epilogue
Last week, I heard about this story from a friend of mine who told me that Pablo Neruda who served as an ambassador to Sri Lanka in the 30s raped a beautiful Sri Lankan woman who came to his house to clean his toilet every morning. She came at the dawn so that nobody would see her. She belonged to the lowest caste, so she was not supposed to be seen by upper caste folks as per the custom those days. As I heard (and understood), she was the second generation of the Indian Tamils who were brought to Sri Lanka during the colonial period as labourers. I was shattered by the rest of the story that followed that her great-grandson was denied a labourer post at a university in Colombo in the 70s because he failed a medical test: according to the test result, he was not of sound mental state. As it revealed, the illness has been carried down in the generation from his great-grandmother due to a trauma she went through.
Further digging into the story revealed that the trauma was due to her being raped by Neruda!
I was deeply affected by the story, and it bothered me a few nights: not because she was raped but how venerated Neruda had/has been, universally, all the while being a culprit, never once was looked down upon! The victim on the other hand, did not have an escape or justice done to her even after generations.
I strongly felt I needed to bring her justice. The result is the poem. But then, how weak and fragile my efforts are! And what good does it do to her or her great-great-grandson/s!
The whole story came back to life (for my friend and I to have a discussion about it) with the newly released film, Alborada now in theatres in Sri Lanka.